I was mindlessly scrolling through Facebook a few days ago when I came across an article in my feed from Connecting for Kids, a nonprofit in my area that serves families of kids with disabilities. The article was touting their “Kind Kid” award, given to “the most compassionate kid nominated in Northeast Ohio.”

Now, I’m not linking to the article because my issue is about more than this situation. The gist though is that the student winning the award, A, was nominated because he is friends with a kid with down syndrome, B. That’s it. A is friends with B, and because B has down syndrome, that makes A the most compassionate kid.

The award was given at a school wide assembly during “inclusion week.”

Let’s break down why this is so gross.

The only notable thing about this friendship is that one of the students has a disability. That is the entire basis for the award.

Thus, what the award is saying is that it’s so unusual and special when a non-disabled person befriends someone with a disability that it’s award-worthy. And why? Because disabled people are harder to be friends with or not considered as worthy of friendship than non-disabled people.

That idea is ridiculous! People with disabilities have lots of qualities that make them great friends, regardless of whether they use wheelchairs, have an intellectual disability, or don’t speak. And, people without disabilities can have qualities that make it challenging to be friends with them, like being racist, bossy, or whiny. We don’t give out awards for being friends with those kids though, do we?

It’s even more harmful that this award is coming from an organization that purports to serve the disability community. Such an organization should be amplifying disabled people’s voices as to why such “inspirational” stories and awards are hurtful, not propagating them themselves.

Some of us tried to point this out on Connecting for Kids’ Facebook page, between comments and one mom sharing this article by Ellen Stumbo. In response, the admin deleted the entire post. I’ve waited, but have not seen them address the issue further. So, it appears that instead of engaging the community meaningfully about the concerns over their award, they’re choosing to try to brush this under the rug.

And to be clear, I don’t care about this particular story. Every person involved could be fine with it, but the fact that an award was given is still wrong, especially by a disability-friendly organization.

Please join me in calling out these sorts of things when you see them and, if you feel so moved, in asking Connecting for Kids to cease giving this award in the future.