M (7) and J (5) were PUMPED to critique Oscar fashion this year. In fact, J asked me to bring in a few more outfits than I was planning, because he wasn’t ready to be finished yet!
Mindy Kaling, in Elizabeth Kennedy:
J: That looks like a Power Ranger dress!
Heidi Klum, in Marchesa:
J: Not cool. I don’t like that open part (points to the chest). I don’t like that there is only one sleeve that goes with it. I want it to have two sleeves.
Priyanka Chopra, in Zuhair Murad:
J: I hate that because I don’t want everyone to see her underwear. I don’t like that she’s wearing no pants.
Orlando Jones, in Hollywood Larry:
J: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I LOVE that! I like the designs on his jacket and I love his bow tie and I love his hairstyle.
Alicia Vikander, in Louis Vuitton:
J: Ooooo! I love that one! It’s a banana colored dress! I also love her earrings. It’s awesome that it’s short in front and long in back.
Saoirse Ronan, in Calvin Klein Collection:
J: I like that the front of the dress is all sparkly. I like her earrings…both of them. In the back of the dress I like the things right there (bottom straps) and the ropes.
Cate Blanchett, in Armani Privé:
J: AWESOME! I love the fake flowers and her hairstyle and her lip jam (apparently that’s what he’s calling lipstick)
Charlize Theron, in Christian Dior:
J: It’s red like blood. It reminds me of when Jesus died for us and gave us His blood.
Naomi Watts, in Armani Privé:
J: That looks like the Rainbow Fish!
Lady Gaga, in Brandon Maxwell:
J: Hahaha we found Lady Gaga! I hate this! I don’t like her lip jam! Not at alllll! I don’t like her white dress…it’s like the white crayon at our house that doesn’t show up.
Kevin Hart, in Dolce & Gabbana:
J: OOOOOOOO!!!! I like the glitter on the tuxedo. And I like the black on black on the tuxedo because black is one of my favorite colors.
Kerry Washington, in Atelier Versace:
J: I like the leather on her dress
Jared Leto, in Gucci:
J: I LOVE that! He looks like a salsa guy. It’s meteor-sauce! The red pipes and the red flower I like, like I like meteors.
Rooney Mara, in Givenchy Couture:
J: How is she wearing any underwear?! I can see through the dress and there is a hole in it. I do like the open side. I’m glad it has two sleeves.
Michael Strahan, in Collection by Michael Strahan:
J: Huh??? I saw that guy on TV. I love this color! I love the vest.
Tina Fey, in Atelier Versace:
J: Oh cuuuuute! It’s a cat dress!
Jennifer Lawrence, in Dior Couture:
J: I don’t like it, because I don’t like all those things on the skirt. It looks like a Giant Creepy.
Chrissy Teigen, in Marchesa:
J: Awesome! I love it! There are so many glittery flowers on it! Hundreds! I like her hairstyle.
Brie Larson, in Gucci:
J: I like the glittery belt and her hairstyle and the train on the costume. I don’t like the ripples.
Amy Poehler, in Andrew Gn:
J: (stares for a full 30 seconds, then falls down) Mom, I did that because this is SO. COOL. It reminds me of the Phantom of the Opera’s jacket!
M: Kevin Hart
J: Mindy Kaling, Orlando Jones, and ALicia Vikander (“I have a lot of favorites!”)
M: Charlize Theron
J: Priyanka Chopra