The Menininho (8) and J (6) are at it again with their critiques. Some parental comments are sprinkled in. Let’s get to it!
Ruth Negga, in Valentino:
M: Too ordinary.
J: This reminds me of a cardinal.
Mark: Nice ribbon.
Naomie Harris, in Calvin Kline Collection:
M: Yah, you’re gonna wanna go buy something else.
J: I don’t like it. That big cut in the middle is ugly.
Ryan Gosling, in Gucci:
M: Hey dude…
J: OH. EM. GEE. I love it! I wish I had one of those shirts!
Brie Larsen, in Oscar de la Renta:
M: Why would you use a bunch of dead bats for your dress?
J: I love it! I love that curve in the dress. It’s awesome!
Mark: Oh my goodness, she looks like she’s being eaten by a giant fish!
Maya: The dress is fine, but that is some “I just stepped out of the shower and didn’t even comb it” hair.
Meryl Streep, in Elie Saab Couture:
M: I love it.
J: I kiiind of like it. There’s sparkles on it, but the rest is just blue.
Mark: It’s majestic.
Emma Stone, in Givenchy Couture:
M: It looks like you just robbed a bank. Give them back all that gold!
J: Where did you find the gold?
Hailee Steinfeld, in Ralph & Russo:
M: Hello Captain Underpants! Next time don’t wear a see-through dress!
J: Disgusting! I hate see-through dresses.
Mark: Flower nipples are not….NO.
Chris Evans, in Salvatore Ferragamo:
M: One of a kind! I like it!
J: I love it! I love this shade of blue!
Leslie Mann, in Zac Posen:
M: (side eye) Neeeeext!
J: I don’t know what to say! It makes me hungry. It reminds me of unripe bananas! It’s awesome!
Taraji P. Henson, in Alberta Ferretti:
M: It’s too ordinary. It doesn’t have enough color in it.
J: I don’t like cuts in the dress. It looks like the dress got murdered.
Dakota Johnson, in Gucci:
M: Your necklace looks like the logo from Mighty Minotaur on Lego Nexo Knights. I don’t know how to describe this dress but it looks cool.
J: She should have a bow in her hair, not on the dress.
Amelia Warner, in Emilia Wickstead:
M: Guards, throw her to the dungeon! The dress is so ugly it should be a crime!
J: Dalmation dress.
Pharrell Williams, in Chanel:
M: You’re the best man I’ve ever seen and I like your smile.
J: Snazzy! Especially the bow and the 3,045 necklaces!
Mark: At first I thought he was going for a musical staff motif, and then I realized it was just necklaces and so I was less impressed.
Kirsten Dunst, in Christian Dior:
M: The dress is too big and poofy.
J: The only thing I like about this is the necklace.
Jessica Biel, in Kaufmanfranco:
M: Good thing my eyes aren’t sensitive. Yikes!
J: Gaudy.
Chrissy Teigen, in Zuhair Murad:
M: Is that dress made of Elmer’s glue and then you got a bunch of confetti stuck to yourself?
J: Her dress looks like fireworks.
Viola Davis, in Armani Privé:
M: I like her wallet. I like the dress.
J: I don’t like the cut-off in the shoulders.
Dwayne Johnson, in Robert Mata:
M: High five!
J: Blue fuziness! I love it!
Halle Berry, in Atelier Versace:
M: Her dress reminds me of cities at night.
J: It got shredded by cats, or by Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Mark: Whoa. The hair and the dress are competing for attention.
Nicole Kidman, in Armani Privé:
M: Whoa whoa whoa whoa WHOA. You should REALLY not make a dress that’s your skin color.
J: I don’t like the pattern and I hate everything else.
Octavia Spencer, in Marchesa:
M: You + a weird bird = that
J: It looks like something is trying to eat her.
Maya: I’d like this more if the proportions were better…the skirt being up so high shortens her.
Janelle Monae, in Elie Saab:
M: Is it possible to catch night and put it on a dress? I love it!
J: LOVE. IT. Look at all those patterns! Awesome, awesome.
Best Dressed:
M: Janelle Monae
J: Emma Stone and Leslie Mann
Mark: Ryan Gosling and Meryl Streep
Maya: Taraji P. Henson and Janelle Monae
Worst Dressed:
M: Leslie Mann
J: Nicole Kidman
Mark: Janelle Monae
Maya: Naomi Harris, Jessica Biel, Dakota Johnson, and Amelia Warner. I could not narrow it down.
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