Writing for Mama Kat’s Writers’ Workshop prompt #1 (except instead of the letter being to me, it’s to my son).
Grampa Gary here, your mom’s dad. First of all, let me say, I love your name. It’s the name I’d picked for your mom (your Nona and I thought she was a boy); it’s partly my name. It is, in a word, groovy. However, I still would have preferred your parents to name you Robert or Dylan, after the great Bob Dylan. But what do I know about names, anyway? I gave myself the nickname Juan Garcia and my family came over on the Mayflower.
Now, you don’t remember this, but we met before you were born. My dad, your Great-Grandpa Brown, died a few days before your birthdate and the two of us sat you down and spent those days teaching you how to be a member of the family, what it means to be a Brown. We told you about the family you’d meet once you were born and how much they’d love you, and all that jazz.
But really? We just wanted you to carry on the tradition of driving everyone nuts.
Remember last week, when your mom sat you down with a nutritious lunch of broccoli and whole wheat bread, your favorite? And then she sat down with a bowl of bean with bacon soup and a good book? But something in you cried out for that unnaturally-orange-colored-goodness, and you weren’t happy until you had some. [Specifically, every other bite.]
That was all me. I laughed so hard I thought I’d die…except I’m already dead. Your Nona HATES that soup. HATES IT. And now I get the last laugh because I’ve passed my love of it on to you. I’m a genius.
And while we’re on the topic of smarts, let’s talk about the whole cat-biting incident. Funny? Yes. Totally avoidable? Also yes. Did you forget everything I taught you about animals? 1) Convince your parents to let you have a dog. 2) Never walk behind a strange horse. 3) Don’t bite your cat’s tail.
In all seriousness, I wish I were there to watch you grow up. I wish I were well. But know that I’m having fun with my dad, and we’re keeping close watch on you. Give your Nona a hug for me, stay out of trouble (well, stay out of tooooo much trouble), and know that I love you.
Grampa Gary aka Grampa Garcia