I had my first prenatal appointment on Friday. I’ve got mixed feelings about it. I think part of it is just hard because I loved my entire prenatal process with Menininho, and this is so different from that. However, the actual birth and postpartum period were pretty awful, so maybe having a not-as-great prenatal period this time will mean that I get the kind of birth that I want???

I think my biggest beef is that the nurses seem so…patronizing? I don’t know if I’m phrasing this right, but has anyone else felt like once they got pregnant, some people (particularly medical professionals) didn’t see them a whole person anymore? I am NOT talking about the people giving up their seat on the subway for you, or friends inquiring how you’re feeling, or other kind gestures. It’s more of the “there, there little girlie, don’t you worry your pretty little head about anything because your hormones just get you so confuddled that we’ll just make all those big hard decisions for you.” Know what I mean?

So yah…that’s how I sometimes feel like I’m being treated. Like when I got so sick with that stomach bug, and the nurse tried to tell me I just had morning sickness and that SHE’D had it so much worse when pregnant, I should count myself lucky. Or two days later when another nurse, after telling me I probably needed to go to urgent care for dehydration, but that I should drink a lot and call her back to check-in first, called me “cute” for calling to check back in.

Friday was ok. I was there for 2 ½ hours. Things apparently always run behind in the office, but I spent over an hour with the nurse in the consultation room. On one hand, this was pretty cool. When I was pregnant with Menininho, I got a bag of information at my first appointment and that was that. My OB and I never discussed breastfeeding or much about nutrition. This time, the nurse pulled out a folder full of pamphlets and wanted to read through each one. She asked me if I’d breastfed my last child and if I was planning to do it again. GREAT for first time moms! But, um, she was shocked that I knew about breastfeeding and prenatal testing and what foods to avoid, and she wouldn’t allow us to move on from the subjects I already knew about.

And, some of the info she gave me was incorrect. For instance, she wanted me to now that it’s totally ok to go “a couple of days past your due date.” I replied, “If you mean plus or minus a couple of weeks, then yep, totally!” She also INSISTED that it’s not possible to see the baby prior to 10 weeks. I can respect an answer like “no, we don’t give ultrasounds prior to 10 weeks because of time constraints,” but don’t LIE to me.

All I want is to be respected throughout my pregnancy and postpartum period, and to be given accurate information so that I can make informed decisions about what is best for my body and my baby. And I did look into switching doctors, but the entire high-risk practice operates the same way and I can’t leave the hospital.

Thanks for letting me vent! I’m sure my next appointment in a few weeks will be wonderful! I’ll be able to see my baby and discuss all my concerns with the doctor directly.