Musings of a Marfan Mom

March 19, 2010
by marfmom
5 Comments

Friday Favorites

I’ll start off with the disclaimer that this topic is probably a little tired, but this is what I’ve been reading this week and I feature other blogs on Fridays, soooo, yah, that means I’m going to be a little behind the ball.

By now, you might have heard about the New York Times article that has much of the female blogosphere (aka “Mommy bloggers”) in an uproar. There are SO many things wrong with this piece that it made my head spin. Sure, the author makes a few decent points, but the entire tone of the piece was condescending. If you’d just replaced the women at this conference with men, it would have been an entirely different article. I felt particularly frustrated because this was a conference I had wanted to attend; put together by the women who run SITS. I read most of the blogs referenced and chat with their authors on Twitter. These are women whom I respect and admire.

Joanne Bamberger, aka PunditMom, wrote An Open Letter to the New York Times About Mom Bloggers, Women Writers, & the Universe. Joanne is a former lawyer and accomplished writer with an extensive resume. Sure, she writes about motherhood, but her blog focuses on relevant politics and advocacy. The first paragraph of her article says a lot: I’m so weary of your attempts to marginalize women writers online who happen to be mothers that I almost couldn’t write this letter. But I realized that if I didn’t, I would feel guilty about not trying to change things so that if my fourth-grader ever wants to be a mother and a professional, maybe she won’t have to fight this battle. And yes, I think this is still a battle.

In The New York Times Makes Mommy Wars Even Stupider, Rock & Roll Mama addresses another frustration (besides the feeling of not being taken seriously) that many women bloggers had with the NYT article: the author, Jennifer, is a “mommy blogger” herself! How can she simultaneously try to be a part of the group that she marginalizes and mocks? Rock & Roll Mama explains why Jennifer isn’t really part of our community, all the while making us laugh with her light-hearted, conversational writing style. She’s definitely a blogger I intend to read more of!

I’ve been a fan of Liz Gumbinner of Mom-101 for a long time. She’s insightful and witty and yes, I even enjoy reading about her day-to-day parenting activities. Her article Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Writing a Mildly Annoyed Letter to the New York Times discusses the positives and negatives of the NYT article in a very balanced manner. She ends her post with a list of links to other blogs, showcasing a small sample of what female bloggers have been able to accomplish recently.

What do you think about all of this? Leave a comment!

March 18, 2010
by marfmom
5 Comments

The Story of the Bored, Bald, & Bitter Salesman…

…or, How Much I Love Free Stuff.

I love a steal. I trade deal information with my friend Debbie. I do the whole Black Friday shopping thing. I spend a bit each Sunday just entering giveaways on SITS. I keep a list of everything I’ve won from blog giveaways.

So, when I heard over the grocery store loudspeaker that someone was giving away pairing knives by the seafood, well, Menininho and I were all over that.

The baby and I parked our cart towards the back of the small group of old people who had gathered to listen to the spiel. Menininho entertained the women on either side of us, patting their hands and cooing. The salesman got up, very typical looking: bald, late 20s/early 30s, and bored.

His pitch was straight out of one of those 2 AM infomercials: this knife will never dull; it cuts a tomato, peels a tomato, and, don’t try this one at home folks (because I’m using a fake!), but this knife can even cut a hammer!

Then, after we all see how FANTASTIC this knife is (which, naturally, is NOT the same knife we’re getting for free), he mentioned the price is ONLY $39.99 and it’s a STEAL to buy it now because you can only buy it on TV and then you have to pay S&H. But, just for buying it today, he’ll throw in a kajillion other knives just for us, because we’re basically BFFs now, after watching his little boring performance.

http://bit.ly/amazonknife


So, who wants to buy my knives?” he asked.

Silence.

C’mon, who wants to buy this great set of knives?”

Silence.

These knives are a great deal! You’ll never need another set! Step right up!”

I laughed.

I promise it wasn’t a loud laugh. Just a giggle really, directed towards the woman making goo-goo eyes at Menininho, who had been trading sarcastic comments with me throughout the unenthusiastic presentation. You would have snickered too, since all the old people just wanted a free knife.

Mr. Bored, Bald Sales Guy totally called me out! He was furious. “Yah, that’s OK, go ahead and laugh that no one wants to buy my knives. It just comes down to money. It just comes down to money people.”

Yah, didn’t make sense to me, either. I just laughed more. Then, the women around me got riled up because how dare that mean salesman signal out the young lady with the adorable baby?! No knife sales for him now!

Moral of the story? If you put some emotion into your pitch, maintain a sense of humor, and aren’t mean to young mothers of adorable infants, you might make a sale.

And, since I know you were wondering, yes, I stuck around to get my free knife. I have no shame. And yes, Mr. Bored, Bald, and Bitter Sales Guy refused to make eye contact when I did.

March 17, 2010
by marfmom
5 Comments

Breastfeeding Questions Answered

I am excited to be able to feature Kate Gulbransen today, a certified lactation consultant, or CLC. Those of you on Twitter probably know her better as HygeiaKate, from the Hygeia Company. Recently, I asked readers to submit their breastfeeding questions for Kate to answer. Here are the questions and her responses:

Q. I would love to know why you should pull baby to you when they bite? What else can you do to help prevent biting?
A. When you pull baby closer to your breast after biting, it blocks the nose so she’ll instinctively open her mouth to breathe.

Older babies will sometimes bite when they’re distracted towards the end of a feed, so it can help to monitor baby’s cues and be ready to end the feeding if you notice she seems to be getting restless and no longer actually interested in eating. During this period of biting, you might avoid snack feedings, and only offer the breast when baby is really hungry.

During periods of teething some babies will bite to relieve some of the aching in the gums. Offering baby a chilled teething ring or cool, damp washcloth to chew on before a feeding session can help prevent the urge to bite while she’s on the breast.

If biting does occur, ending the feeding session temporarily and saying a firm “No biting/Don’t Bite” will teach baby that biting is not ok.

Q. Are there really male CLCs like on the office? Do CLCs really grab your breast when helping?
A. While there are a few male lactation consultants (Dr. Jay Gordon is one well-known male IBCLC), the overwhelming majority are women.

Most lactation consultants will ask permission before touching your breasts or will use their hands to guide your hands over the breast as they instruct.

Q. What are the most common causes of a lack of breast milk production? One of my midwives told me that only about 5% of women can’t produce milk and I was one of them.
A. Insufficient milk production is frequently due to unresolved breastfeeding difficulties in the early weeks of nursing. Poor latch, early supplementing, shortened/limited nursing sessions can all contribute to low milk supply. Allowing baby to nurse on demand, avoiding supplements, and working with a lactation consultant to resolve positioning issues can help ensure a good milk supply from the start.

Many moms become concerned about milk supply because their baby nurses frequently or is fussy. These are very common concerns, but not accurate indicators of milk production. Kellymom has a great reference card on supply indicators.

There are a handful of maternal and infant factors that can also contribute to low supply. A few of these factors include breast surgery, PCOS and insufficient glandular tissue. It’s especially important for these moms to advise their lactation consultant of their conditions to develop a customized nursing plan. Herbal galactagogues or medications like domperidone can also be helpful to boost milk production in the case of low supply.

I always like to remind moms with supply challenges that breastfeeding doesn’t need to be an all or nothing proposition. Moms can feel good about any amount of breast milk they are able to provide their babies.

Q. My baby had a poor latch (now corrected), that really damaged my nipples and they haven’t had a chance to heal. I started to pump, but I don’t seem to be making enough and have had to supplement with formula. What can I do while pumping to make sure that my milk production keeps up with her growing demand? What kind of challenges can I expect and try to combat in the next few days as I heal and try to switch her back to breastfeeding? Is there a difference between exclusively pumping and actually breastfeeding?
A. Poor latch can definitely contribute to sore nipples, so if that hasn’t been completely corrected I would strongly recommend working with an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) when you get her back on the breast. During the next few days as pump full-time, it’s important to keep up your supply by pumping at least eight times a day. Many moms will see a difference in output by using a hospital-grade rental pump and combining pumping with gentle compresses/massaging of the breast to maximize production. This is sometimes called “hands-on pumping”, and this video from Stanford is an excellent guide.

Make sure that your pump flanges are the right size so your nipples can move freely and are not rubbing against the sides of the tunnel. I also recommend using a slow-flow nipple to help prevent her from developing a flow preference (nipple confusion).

Exclusively pumping is an option worthy of its own post as it comes with very unique challenges. I see many moms turning to this option because they don’t get enough support resolving breastfeeding difficulties. I always recommend resolving the problem at hand (poor latch causing sore nipples) before turning to exclusive pumping. Exclusively pumping adds a significant time commitment to the daily feeding routine without many of the personal rewards of breastfeeding (I’ve yet to meet a mom who looks forward to pumping). Because exclusive pumping is such a labor of love – emphasis on labor – I am continually impressed by the commitment of these moms to providing their babies with breast milk.

Q. I heard the health benefits of breast milk stop after about 4 months. Is that true?
A. There’s no timeline to when the health benefits of breastmilk end for moms and babies.

Both The World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics recommend exclusive breastfeeding (no solids) for the first six months of life, as breastmilk provides all of the nutrients a baby needs. After baby begins to eat solids, breastmilk will continue be a primary source of nutrition during the first year of life and beyond and will continue to offer protection against illness.

Breastfeeding offers many health benefits for moms as well. The longer a mom breastfeeds, the lower her risk is for breast cancer, endometrial cancer and ovarian cancer. Longer-term breastfeeding has also been associated with a reduced risk of heart disease for moms.