Musings of a Marfan Mom

August 19, 2010
by marfmom
1 Comment

Review: A Parent’s Guide to Speech and Language Problems

I’ve come across a book that I think all parents of kids with special needs should check out. Although The Parent’s Guide to Speech and Language Problems would appear to be relevant only to the particular population named in the title, I found it to contain some universal chapters. I would particularly recommend portions of this book to all the parents of children and teens with Marfan and related disorders, especially the newly diagnosed.

Chapters 10, School Daze: Navigating Your Way Through the Individualized Education Program, and 11, Are You Covered? Cutting Through the Red Tape of Insurance, are particularly amazing. I think because the author, Debbie Feit, is a parent of two kids with special needs, she knows better than any expert how to explain “the system.” Chapter 10 goes through the evaluation process step-by-step, then details the IFSP (for kids under 3) and IEP (for kids 3 and over). Feit provides examples of IEP forms, goals, and potential problems, as well as how to address those. Reading this before starting the IFSP process for the Menininho was so helpful; I had a good idea of what to expect and what my rights were, as well as what kinds of questions to ask and what services to seek.

Chapter 11 is a potentially even more vital read. Raise your hand if you’ve been denied by insurance for some aspect of your child’s care. I KNOW a lot of Marfan families have been in this position. Some of the specific examples in this chapter aren’t relevant, but the general information is. Feit, as usual, starts with the basics of what questions to ask to get general information on coverage. She then walks you through the steps of submitting a claim and how to appeal if it’s denied, including how to file an external appeal (how many of you knew about this option?). She even includes an example of a letter to send for the appeal; you can use the basic outline and tweak it to suit your child’s condition and needs.

The rest of the book is specific to the needs of children with speech and language problems (autism included). I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I came across not only the “normal development” chart, but the “when to seek help” chart. Menininho didn’t have many of the skills listed for normal development, but met just about every criteria under when to seek help. My concerns were validated! I knew Mark & I weren’t crazy!

Feit and her co-author, physician Heidi Feldman, do a great job of laying out the book in a very logical format. The formatting makes it easy to skim too, so that you can find the information you’re looking for. For example, they provide information on the most common communication disorders in one section, suggested therapies for each one in another, so that you can easily find what’s relevant to your child’s symptoms/diagnosis. I’d say the book is biased towards discussing verbal apraxia over other disorders, but that’s what Feit’s children have so it makes sense that’s what she would choose to write examples about. Snippets from other parents are included in boxes throughout the book.

Two other areas I personally found useful were the sections that broke down the benefits and drawbacks to various methods of therapies (including alternative therapies), as well as how to know if your child’s therapist is a good fit. While there were a couple of things that have annoyed me a bit about Menininho’s therapist (just little personality quirks), I’ve been able to go back to Feit’s list and see The Man is actually a great find. He gets along with M, and M. likes him in return. I’m a participant in every session, I get weekly verbal and written feedback as well as assignments of things to work on with M. on our own in between sessions. And most importantly, M. is making progress.

When the audiologist confirmed that Menininho had some kind of communication problem, I checked out several general books from the library to help us form our “battle plan.” Nothing I read was as useful as The Parent’s Guide to Speech and Language Problems and I can’t recommend it enough.

Buy it: if your child has a communication delay or disorder, particularly if you’re at the start of the diagnostic process. It’s currently selling for under $10 on Amazon.

Borrow it: if you child has any other kind of delay/disability (or if you do, for that matter!)

I was not compensated in any way for this review. I’ve never spoken with either author. I just really liked the book and wanted to let all of my friends know about it!

August 17, 2010
by marfmom
6 Comments

Pregnancy: 24 Weeks

Thursday will mark my 24th week of pregnancy.

I am definitely showing at this point. I don’t think my weight gain is much different than my first pregnancy (& no, I don’t keep track of the pounds) although I feel like my belly is bigger. I’m pretty sure this is a by-product of having Marfan syndrome: because of Marfan, my ribs basically touch my hips and in fact overlap on one side. This baby has nowhere to go but straight out, and he is consistently measuring bigger than Menininho was (although who knows, with how inaccurate ultrasounds are!).

One thing that is similar to when I was pregnant with the Menininho is my sleep habits. I am having a hard time going to sleep before 2 am. When I was pregnant with M, Mark had to move to California early on and I was in grad school, so staying up that late was not an issue. I’d fall asleep on the couch watching Carson Daly and wake up at 10 am. That was the life! 😉

These days I have to get up earlier to take care of a very busy 18 month old, though as of late he’s had mercy on me and “read” Dr. Seuss to himself till 9:30 on those days we have time to sleep in. Then, when I go in to check on him, he looks up, smiles, clicks his tongue, and goes back to reading. I. Love. It. My poor, patient husband does NOT appreciate my nocturnal habits.

One thing that’s totally different this pregnancy? The back pain! Holy cow! At 15 weeks I picked up the Menininho to put him in his crib, pulled something in my back, and it hasn’t been the same since. Bending over to get him out of the stroller today I heard something crack and shift that I’m fairly positive was not supposed to crack and shift and I can hardly walk. Advice? I’m looking at getting one of those maternity support belts to see if that makes a difference when I’m up and about. I don’t know what else to do. I can tell I’m having the problems from picking up M, but I’m at a loss for how to get around that. He’s not even 3 lbs over my 20 lb weight limit, but even 20 lbs would be hard these days, getting him up onto the changing table, into/out of the crib, and into the car. Maybe a giant step stool in the nursery would help???

I have only been to labor and delivery once thus far, for contractions (lucky it’s all good!). They do not make the unit easy to find (you have to go through a kazillion winding hallways) so when it’s the real deal I am totally opting for the wheelchair pushed by a knowledgeable security officer.

Smudge is a SUPER active baby. I love it! The other night he kicked Mark in the face when he was talking to my belly. I actually don’t feel him as much as he moves, due to the anterior placenta, but it’s so fun watching him squirm on the ultrasound machine (I have to get one every month). Each tech has commented on how he doesn’t sit still. I was able to see my stomach moving around like pop corn popping at 21 weeks: way earlier than I did with Menininho. This makes all the back pain and insomnia worth it (well, and getting him at the end of course!).

Tomorrow I meet with the anesthesiology team to start discussing the ins and outs of my VBAC. I know I need the epidural but I’m going to see how long I can put it off. My hope is that they’ll agree to use my blood pressure as an indicator of when to put it in, instead of just doing it on admission to the hospital, but of course I’m sure that will depend on what my cardiologist says.

Speaking of him, I have my end of 2nd trimester echo in 2 weeks. Hopefully my aorta is stable and all my meds can stay the same.

And on that note, it’s almost 1 am and Smudge desperately wants a grilled cheese sandwich, which his dad is so kindly making. YUM!