Musings of a Marfan Mom

The Oscars 2018

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Critiquing fashion is a family affair in our house. The boys were eager to impart their opinions once again, but this time joined by Miss R!

Kelly Marie Tran, in Jenny Packham: Embed from Getty Images
M: It’s good but it kind of looks like she’s giving the red carpet a shower.
J: Ooooo sparkly! And I like her hair.
R: Boobs ona dwess!

Emma Stone, in Louis Vuitton: Embed from Getty Images
M: Looks like a man's tuxedo. But that ribbon...be careful! Who knows what could happen if it came untied!
J: I like the red and pink. I think this is formal enough for the Oscars.
R: Bow on it!

Chadwick Boseman, in Givenchy Couture: Embed from Getty Images
M: Where's your Black Panther pose? The jacket looks like dragons and his zipper shoes are AWESOME! One of a kind!
J: BLACK PANTHER! I like the zip up shoes and the coat.
R: Gooood!

Saoirse Ronan, in Calvin Klein by Appointment: Embed from Getty Images
M: That dress and hairstyle make her a lot younger. She looks like she has tiny wings sticking out her butt.
J: Me likey!
R: It pink.

Whoopi Goldberg, in Christian Siriano: Embed from Getty Images
M: Why are you wearing sunglasses? I was shocked when I first saw the flowers.
J: I really like the flowers. It looks like a painting. You could say...Awesome Blossom!
R: Big. (or I think that's what she said)

Paz Vega, in Christophr Bu: Embed from Getty Images
M: With that bathroom tile pattern, is there a toilet behind her dress?
J: Don't get stung by bees!
R: Good.

Nicole Kidman, in Armani Privé: Embed from Getty Images
M: It looks like her leg is voting...the dress skirt looks like a voting booth.
J: Her new name is Bow-y.
R: Yes.

Mary J. Blige, in Atelier Versace: Embed from Getty Images
M: Too plain!
J: PLAIN!
R: Dat's a haircut.

Adam Rippon, in Moschino: Embed from Getty Images
M: He looks like a pilot.
J: Is he going to a wedding? (I then asked if he'd really wear that to a wedding.) Yes, I'd wear that!
R: (She jumped and waved her arms around.)

Betty Gabriel, in Tony Ward Couture: Embed from Getty Images
M: She looks like Te Fiti from Moana.
J: Her dress is broken.
R: Why?

Andra Day, in Zac Posen: Embed from Getty Images
M: I bet she's hot in that.
J: Why are you turning into a bed?

Gal Gadot, in Givenchy: Embed from Getty Images
M: Ooo looks like we have another cleaner on the job on the red carpet? Looks like a mop!
J: SPARKLY!
R: Vey nice!

Danai Gurira, in Gabriela Hearst: Embed from Getty Images
M: Perfect.
J: Is she a princess? It looks like she's wearing a tiara.
R: Has bow!

Lindsey Vonn, in Christian Siriano: Embed from Getty Images
M: Are your pants falling off?
J: OH. Oh. Um. UGLY! Like, that's REALLY ugly.
R: Furry pants fall off?

Salma Hayek, in Gucci: Embed from Getty Images
M: From the hips down she looks like a water fountain.
J: Did you just come from jail with all those chains?

Rita Moreno, in Pitoy Moreno: Embed from Getty Images
M: She looks like she's doing the hokey-pokey! She's too creepy. Nothing else to say.
J: I LOVE the necklace. I like the gloves too.

Maya Rudolph, in Valentino: Embed from Getty Images
M: She looks split in half. Is she having a surgery done on her?
J: Is she a priest at a church?!
R: (Just a very confused face)

Daniel Kaluuya, in Brunello Cucinelli: Embed from Getty Images
M: You look nothing like you do in Black Panther but this so goes with you! It's perfect on you! And that's all I'll say.
J: So handsome! I love the color.
R: Tute! (Cute)

Taraji P Henson, in Vera Wang: Embed from Getty Images
M: She looks like she's thinking dark thoughts. In parentheses,YIKES!
J: Looks like the dog didn't eat just your homework, but your dress too!

Lupita Nyong'o, Atelier Versace: Embed from Getty Images
M: You won the jackpot with that gold!
J: Gold fit for a queen!
R: Spin round!

Tiffany Haddish, in an Eritrean Princess Dress: Embed from Getty Images
M: It looks SO princessey, but not like the ones you see in movies. So, welcome to the real world!
J: I like the tiara. Is she really a princess?
R: Pretty!

Allison Janney, in Custom Reem Acra:Embed from Getty Images
M: SOOOO plain.
J: Plain! And her sleeves look like they're for someone who has Marfan syndrome.
R: Like it!

Best Dressed:
M: Chadwick Boseman
J: Chadwick Boseman

Worst Dressed:
M: Allison Janney
J: Lindsey Vonn

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