Menininho (6) is my red carpet-watching buddy. As he gets older, he gives some great commentary, and I thought it would be fun to share some of that with all of you. J (4) also wanted to chime in.
Let’s hit it!
Jennifer Lopez, in Elie Saab
M: It is like, amazing. Her dress is so big. I like the way her hair is on the dress. It’s super sparkly.
J: Awesome! It’s cooler than my shirt.
Zoe Saldana, in Atelier Versace
M: It looks like a normal dress to me.
J: It’s cooler than (J-Lo’s) dress.
Marion Cottilard, in Dior Couture
M: WOW! Her dress looks like a bed cot.
J: It’s embarrassing!
Laura Dern, in Alberta Ferretti
M: It looks like glittery metal. It’s so dark I could compare it to a dark, dark night.
J: Well…it’s better than the statue.
Felicity Jones, in Alexander McQueen
M: Wow, that face looks like my aunt Gabriella! That dress looks like a soft, soft cloud.
J: It’s better than play-doh.
Me: Actually, she does look like my sister from this angle…I also love the skirt here!
Neil Patrick Harris, in Brunello Cucinelli
J: I hate it. Cause I don’t like it.
Me: M couldn’t be bothered to comment on this. I actually don’t mind the suit!
Patricia Arquette, in Rosetta Getty
M: She looks like a super dress fixer. That means she can fix any dress, any time.
Me: This is where J started to get antsy and very particular in which outfits he’d comment on.
Lady Gaga, in Azzedine Alaia
M: Her hair looks like a wig. Her gloves look like cooking gloves. Her dress…looks like…very, very…um, it looks like air. Dark air.
J: It looks like a cloud and a red balloon!
Solange Knowles, in Christian Siriano
M: Yah…I don’t like it. It looks like a shirt. A very. big. shirt.
J: It’s so ugly.
David Oyelowo, in Dolce&Gabbana
M: His suit reminds me of red velvet cake. That’s a good thing. I like the bow tie.
Chrissy Teigen, in Zuhair Murad
M: Her face makeup is ugly but her dress looks amazing. It looks like ice.
J: Blue is my favorite color! I love that dress.
Me: Forget anything else my kids have said. They clearly have no taste.
Eddie Redmayne and Hannah Bagshawe, both in Alexander McQueen
M: They could win 1,002 of those awards. I like her hair and the feathers. I like his bow and his tuxedo, his smile, and his hair.
Me: Why yes honey…many women (and men) love his smile….
Jared Leto, in Givenchy
M: He looks scary. I want to skip him!
J: AAAAHHHHH! I hate his shadow! His outfit is scaring me.
Emma Stone, in Elie Saab
M: I like her hair. The dress reminds me of a yellowish greenish crayon.
Scarlett Jonahsson, in Atelier Versace
M: Her dress looks like a plant. I like her necklace; it looks like a Christmas tree.
J: What is that? [“It’s a necklace.”] It looks like a monster!
Me: “Throat fungus” came to mind for me, but a Christmas tree and a monster work too!
Keira Knightley, in Valentino Couture
M: (gasps loudly) I love it! She looks like a garden! A garden with lots and lots of flowers and butterflies. I like her hair and her makeup. I can’t read the words but I love looking at it all.
J: WHOA. I love the flowers on this dress.
Lupita Nyong’o, in Calvin Klein Collection
M: I don’t like that one, because it looks like a normal dress. It’s boring.
J: I like her dress, because it’s so fashiony.
M: Keira Knightley
J: Jared Leto
Me: Hannah Bagshawe, Felicity Jones, and David Oyelowo
M: Jared Leto
J: Marion Cottilard
Me: Chrissy Tiegen