Musings of a Marfan Mom



I don’t consider myself to be someone who thinks I’m entitled to many things just because I have Marfan (unless you count basic human rights, like equal opportunities and healthcare, in which case heck ya I feel entitled!). I mean, I don’t think that just because I have Marfan, I should be allowed first in line to get ice cream, or that everyone should only do aorta-friendly activities around me, or whatever.

But you know, every once in awhile something comes along where I think, “Yes, I DESERVE this.” Ultrasounds are one of those things.

When I was pregnant with the Menininho, I had major ultrasounds, with printouts to take home, at 7, 12, 19, and 34 weeks. Every other visit I had a quick ultrasound just to check the heartbeat and make sure he was still in there. Was it strictly necessary? Probably not. But you know what? For all the stress and indignities that I had to deal with as a high-risk pregnancy, it was a great reward.

I expected the same with this pregnancy. In fact, I even asked my new OB at our pre-pregnancy consultation about ultrasounds, and he promised I’d get them early and often.

You can imagine my surprise when I was told after I got pregnant that I wouldn’t even get a Doppler check of the heartbeat at 8 weeks, or see the OB himself. The nurse told me it’s not possible to see the baby at 8 weeks. Um…LIE. In fact, since my OB is only in the office once a week, my first ultrasound got scheduled at 10 weeks, 6 days because apparently you can’t see the baby at 9 weeks, 6 days, either, but you can at 10 weeks, 1 day. 24 HOURS MAKES A DIFFERENCE.

Are they going to be the kind of office that doesn’t let me go into labor at 38 weeks, 6 days because babies can only be born at 39 weeks or later?

You might ask why I care so much. Here’s why. Without an ultrasound, how can I REALLY be sure there’s a baby in there? I mean yes, I have a small collection of sticks that I peed on, which all produced positive results. And yes, I feel nauseous and tired all the time now and even though I’ve not gained any weight yet, I’ve already popped. At 7 weeks.

But you know who else had those same signs?

And look how well that turned out for him!

I rest my case.

So wish me luck this Friday as I try to convince some unsuspecting nurse that I really DO need an ultrasound this week! (And spare me the horror stories about babies turned into aliens by too many ultrasounds, please; my fragile pregnant brain can’t handle it.)

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  1. The picture was just too much – and you’re right that didn’t turn out too good for him! I think that anyone who has had/is having a high risk pregnancy should be able to have ultra sounds and appointments as much as they see fit.

    I had a friend who had a stillborn baby a year ago (after being on fertility treatments) and shortly after she became pregnant again and the doctors have been great at fulfilling all of her requests so they make sure this time the baby is okay!


  2. Lol I’m sure you won’t have anything more alien going on than the usual feeling of invasion of the body snatchers once baby starts moving!


  3. If anyone can talk them into giving you an ultrasounds it’s you! And the picture was hilarious! I’m reading this at work and actually had to stifle my laugh!


  4. I’m dying of laughter Maya! You are hilarious and totally entitled to receiving that ultrasound. As take-charge as you are about your health, I know you’ll make it happen. If not, I’m sure there’s another lucky OB out there who’ll get the privilege of providing your care and helping to bring your beautiful little baby (not *alien*) into the world. Good luck girl!
    By the way, if you haven’t already heard I’m starting a new blog carnival tomorrow called “OH NO HE DIDN’T!” TUESDAY. I’d love for you to come by and get the details. If you’re interested, play along too! Have a great day. I hope the morning sickness goes away soon. Take care.

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud


  5. Thats why I always order the soup when I travel at ludicrous speed.


  6. Same here!!! When i had my son it seemed like i got an ultrasound at EVERY appointment.but when i had my daughter they only gave me like 3. the first one at like 7 wks and then at 20 wks and i think maybe one closer to the end. i hated them denying it to me. i even went to the local WCC Ultrasound class and got a few free ones preformed on me just so i can see the baby and everything. i think with high risk pregs the mom should get as many ultrasounds as her hearts content!


  7. You march in there, and tell them what’s up!

    Speaking from personal experience, I think it is VITAL that women get at least one early ultrasound. If I wouldn’t have had an early ultrasound with my first two pregnancies I’d be dead.

    Based on that experience, then, I got 5 ultrasounds with Ella. It was awesome.


    marfmom Reply:

    Abbey, I totally thought about your experience when they told me I couldn’t have one till so late in the first trimester. This past week I’ve had several acquaintances get bad news at their 6/7 week ultrasounds and while I’m hoping I only get good news, if I’m going to get bad I’d rather get it earlier than later.

    Ticia, how do you find WCC ultrasound classes?


  8. you have every right to express your concern; it is YOUR baby, after all. i have a friend who is based in japan who has exactly the same concern as yours. good thing her OB listened to her.

    why dont you just go back to your old OB?

    shuttling in from SITS :)


    marfmom Reply:

    Because my old OB is across the country, lol


  9. Actually it’s not getting enough ultrasounds that you need to worry about; proven fact that you need a minimum number of ultrasounds to turn the baby from an alien into a kid. See, it must be true ’cause it’s on the internet now.

    In all seriousness, though, I would love to be a fly on the wall when you start talking to that OB nurse. Is this the same office that called you “cute?”


  10. I had an ultrasound at 7 weeks and 3-4 days that I very distinctly saw not only a little circle that was a baby, but also her heart beating. That’s total bull that they say you can’t see the baby that early.


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